


jellybeans, secrets, and lies (not necessarily in that order)

by nonbinarywithaknife (littleboxes)



Series: me sobbing about critical role [107]
Category: Critical Role (Web Series)
Genre: (mostly), Alternate Universe - Detectives, Alternate Universe - Human, Banter, F/M, Flirting, Gen, Light Angst, Mystery, Not(t) the Best Detective Agency, Oneshot, Secret Identity, Secrets, ambiguous ending, green team - Freeform, insults as flirting
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-17
Updated: 2019-08-17
Packaged: 2020-09-06 04:21:55
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,048
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20285320
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/littleboxes/pseuds/nonbinarywithaknife
Summary: Fjord muses on the Detective that he lies to every day.





	jellybeans, secrets, and lies (not necessarily in that order)

**Author's Note:**

> i saw this prompt and instantly thought detective!nott: "A member of the otp+ is investigating strange phenomena happening in the other/s’ home/town."  
and who better to have a bunch of Mysterious Secrets than fjord? :)

“So, Fjord, what’s today’s story?” the detective says, leaning forward with her notebook in hand. 

Fjord doesn’t know why he’s so nervous. This is routine. And really, all things considered, she’s not very intimidating. A halfling woman with long brown hair, she barely reaches his shoulders. Today’s dress is the same color as freshly mowed grass, with what look like buttons hand sewn around the collar and the hem. She’s wearing a simple brown vest over it, embroidered with flowers on the sides. It looks nice. He tells her so. She takes a drink from her flask and tells him to fuck off and stop trying to change the subject. He laughs. 

They’re been meeting like this for the past three months. He might even call them friends, if he’d had any experience with that sort of thing.

And yet. Her very presence here threatens his. Her goal is to root out the cause of the strange goings on in Trostenwald, and he is the cause. Even if, theoretically, he could tell her his secret without enormous repercussions for his life here, there’s no telling what _ he _ would do when- and it is _ when _ and not _ if_\- he finds out that Fjord’s told someone. 

Fjord thinks about the last time he tried to go behind Uk’otoa’s back and winces. Veth catches it, of course she does, but she doesn’t ask. Not because she’s afraid to, but because she knows Fjord will shut down if she will. She can get leads out of banter, if done right. She can’t from the back of his head as he walks away.

Every day for the past three months, Fjord (just Fjord) has lied to Veth Brenatto’s face. She knows this. Fjord knows that she knows this. Every day Veth listens, and pokes holes in his story, and he insults her sleuthing skills, and she insults whatever she damn well pleases, and then they part ways. The next day, she ambushes him on his lunch break, or on his way home, or during his grocery run, and the cycle starts anew. 

At first, he’d put every once of his charisma and charm into the lies. Made every effort to get her _ away_, to make her leave it (him) alone. He roped Beau and Caleb into it, made alibis and excuses. Every time, Veth would find some way to throw him off-kilter, and she would scribble in that notebook of hers, and be back right on time tomorrow. 

He used to be worried. He’s still worried. But where it used to be a great big weight on his shoulders, taking every ounce of his attention, it’s faded to a buzz in the back of his mind. Veth is a small town private detective who has good instincts and is right about more things than it is safe to be right about. But. She has no proof. No confirmation. And Fjord has the skills in circular conversation and deflection to keep it that way for- well. A very long time. 

He takes his sweet time responding to her greeting- or, lack of one. It’s when she makes an audible growl of irritation that he turns to her, sardonic pout on his face.

“What, no ‘good morning Fjord,’ no, ‘how was your grocery shopping, Fjord?,’ no, ‘that’s a nice haircut, Fjord, is it new?’”

Veth snorts at him. “Your hair is as ugly as it’s ever been, Fjord. Really, you should consider dying it.”

“It’s your fault I’m going grey in the first place. And that’s still not a greeting”

“Right. _ Terribly _ sorry. You know what my mother told me growing up? The fastest way to stop getting grey hairs is to _ tell the truth_.”

Fjord laughs. 

“Oh yeah? What prompted that conversation?”

Veth gives an indignant sniff. “Nothing _ important_,” she replies, nose in the air. 

Fjord folds his arms in front of him and leans back in his chair, tilting it _ just so _ he can look through mostly closed eyelids down at Veth. She throws a jellybean at him from one of her many pockets in retaliation. 

“Was baby Veth a _ liar_?” he needles, and gets another jellybean to the face for his troubles. 

“Say the phrase ‘baby Veth’ again and I’ll throw something a lot heavier than a jellybean at you, you insufferable-”

Veth’s cut off by the loud entrance of a blue tiefling. 

“No-oooo-tt~~!! I know you’re in the middle of flirting with your suspect, but I have _ pastries!_” 

Veth and Fjord splutter simultaneously at her implication, but she pays them no mind as she tosses a bear claw to Veth. 

Fjord gives up protesting, because he knows it only fuels her. “Jessie, are you ever gonna tell me why on earth you call her _ Nott_?”

Jester turns to him, dress whirling. “Oh, Fjord, I wish I could, but I _ pinkie promised _ Nott I wouldn’t, so… guess you’ll just have to get her to tell you!”

The last part of her statement is punctuated with a wink, and Fjord can’t help the blush that covers his face. It’s stupid, because he doesn’t like her, or, at least, he likes her, but he doesn’t _ like _ her, and- ugh. 

Even in his own head Fjord gets flustered at the idea of dating Veth. It’s a terrible idea, literally the worst idea, dating the woman that could bring his world crashing down around him if he let anything slip. 

Truly, Fjord’s beginning to notice a pattern with his choice in partner- namely, that things tend to end with explosions and betrayal, and the consequences falling on his head. And while he doesn’t think that Veth would ever sabotage a ship that he was on, he’d rather not end up with another _ Avantika situation_, either.

Jester and Veth are talking now, about a case Jester took on solo while she was in Nicodranas visiting her mother. Fjord takes the opportunity to soothe his fluttering heart. Damn it, now that Jester’s brought it up, he can’t help but flip back through their past conversations in his head, looking at them in a new light. Sure, he could see how Jester could mistake some of their friendly banter as flirting, but that’s all it was- friendly banter. Nothing else. He can’t _ afford _ for it to be anything else.


End file.
